Indulged

I had a dream last night that I was sleeping and someone came in and sucked my nipples, working his way down, sucking my treasured clit almost to the point of orgasm, slowing to start again, tucking his fingers into me, building up the perfect rhythm, tongue searching, fingers working, mouth hungry. I did not feel I would ever cum, but I was chasing it, he was chasing it and then I was there, back arching, eyes wide then rolling back, gasping, panting, shaking. On recounting it to Husband Dear this morning he assures me it was no dream...just another addition to the perfect day scenario. Apparently I rolled over and went to sleep, though I swear I never really woke up.

As far as perfection goes I am hitting pretty close to the mark at the moment. My cleaner came and worked her magic, I had a pedicure, washed and blowdryed my hair with my new fantastic hairdryer and I am waiting here with my kids working and my gorgeous dog doting on me, for a lovely woman to walk in the door and give me a full body massage....it really can't possibly get much better than this!

My baking yesterday was lovely. It makes me feel a little Martha Stewart. I think the brownies are my favorite. The recipe I use is pretty much chocolate. butter and brown sugar with just enough eggs and flour to stick it together. Again I use the salted butter because of the sweet/salty contrast - I know I shouldn't. I know the cooking books say unsalted but I can't help it. I am going to say that it is probably the asian influence - that flavour balance, sweet/salty/sour/hot must be hard-wired into my cells, so much so that it even permeates my baking.

I wonder at it, what creates in me my desires in the way that they manifest. The food, the sex, the way I walk through the world. As for the sexuality part, there have been no childhood triggers - of which I can attest. I can also say with some sort of certainty that I remember feeling this, knowing this about myself from very, very young. Maybe 4? I will draw the line at detailing the memories.

Occasionally I think about my ancestry and wonder at the link. Japanese, German, Spanish, English - especially with the German/Japanese. They are renowned for their weird control issues and proclivity for what would be considered in polite company, sexual deviancy. Then again perhaps this is just mine to wear. Blameless, it just is what it is.

It is interesting though.

I am going to make the panna cotta this afternoon. Hopefully Sir will desire for me to come and see him sometime soon. I am waiting, baking, indulging - but I cannot pretend at patience.