The next night I talked to my husband again about having perhaps an open relationship. We have talked about it a lot, from the very start of our relationship. My darling sweet husband has not been with many other women - all of them within the context of a committed relationship. I lived a rather full sex life until we got together and I really felt I needed to let that go to become the sort of wife and mother I envisaged myself to be. He is quite amenable to the idea. He has always been. The thing I know that he doesn't is what that lifestyle actually looks like. He said yes but he has said yes before.
The next day I dropped the kids to my parents place around lunch as we were going out for the night and left my husband at home to go to the 'shops'. I went to his place for a coffee. He pulled my scarf tight around my neck. He made me kneel on the floor in front of him, suck his fingers, call him sir. He pulled my nipples and smelt my neck. He bent me over and grabbed my hair. He spanked my arse so hard it left me breathless and shaking. I was ready to cum, right there on the edge but he said no. No not yet.
I was terrified. Who am I? What the hell am I doing? I have a husband and children. I cannot be here doing this. I had to escape. I sucked down about four cigarettes ( even though I don't smoke) and drove home. I kissed my husband and packed his clothes and we drove to the beach for a party.
A thousand thoughts crossed my mind. It was like walking into the ocean and not knowing where the shore was, swimming out and trying to remember, trying to forget, trying to swim but wanting to drown.
I had a nice time. Out to dinner, laughing, a few drinks, a few cigarettes (even though I don't smoke). I decided that I was not going to call him again.