Silence

So where were we before I got all distracted with my new trick? That's right, me tied to a spreader bar on the bed, cuffed and gagged with Sir wielding some deadly looking clamps.

He stares into my eyes and places The Mother of all clamps over my whole cunt, sandwiching my clit in the middle. He stares at me, watching my eyes roll back as it snaps shut. I have to say the feeling was exquisite in a very good way. I let out a small shudder. He proceeds to fix pegs where ever he can find spare flesh around the clamp. Then he comes at me with the two small clamps. The first one goes on my right nipple. It hurts but I can bear it. The second one goes on my left nipple and I can not take it. I am whimpering - Sir says I sound like a puppy. I kind of agree but am not in much of a position to comment. I am gagged, tied and in major sensory overload.

The twisted nature of these moments is that when he removes the clamps I look to him as my saviour. He says there will be a punishment for that later. In that moment I could not see past getting the clamp(s) off my nipple and it is gone and he has rescued me.

He walks over to the drawer and pulls out a long sharp white needle about the length of a ruler. He pokes me with it. Pokes my clit with it. I am not liking this game. He rests the needle flat against the top of my thighs.

I don't remember what happened next. I remember him standing beside me, to my right. I remember the look on his face as I lay on the bed, tied to the bar, hands cuffed to the bar, clamped and gagged. I remember I had to move my knees up towards my chest. I don't remember why. I can picture myself lying there and see the confusion spread across my face as my knees draw higher. I see my eyes grow wide, my head start to shake. I look over at him. I understand what he has done, what he is doing. He smiles, nods and chuckles a "MmmmHmmmm." I shake my head. He nods his head. I try to ease into it, looking to him to save me.

The thin white needle rests on my thighs and in the middle it is threaded by a loop to the clamp on my clit.

As my knees draw up, the clamp pulls. I am breathing faster, transfixed by the sensation but the fear is building. The fear is driven by the anticipation of pain. I know once the clamp pulls to a certain point the smaller amount of skin will make it excruciating. I look to him. He smiles and says nothing. I am like a trapped bug in his web. It is blissfully divine. I want to cum but know that if I do it will pull harder on the clamp.

I wish I could remember what it was that was making me draw my knees up. I have a feeling it may have been a cane. Just before I dive into real panic he yanks the clip from me.

I breathe hard.

OMG.

I ask for release but it is denied.

I am freed from my bonds while he uses his hand to bring forth the most intense orgasms. I cum over and over, trying to be silent as he insists. (He tells me later is because it intensifies the orgasm. This I can now attest to.) Holding my breath, I sit up as he is there with his hand in me. I stare into him, looking to him to guide me, direct me, keep me present. I listen and his words wash over me, his eyes locking me in. I am at his will in this moment more than any other. More than when I am tied up, bound, gagged. In this moment I breathe at his will. The word comes, "Now" My eyes roll back and I am spasming, brimming with sound which channels itself all into my cunt grabbing at him, pulling him in. I am thrown back on the bed, gasping. I feel the waves rolling through me from my middle out to my ends. Cum is dripping down my legs, pulsing out of me. The room is full of the smell of sex and fucking.

I am spent.

Eventually I am able to rouse myself enough for a cigarette (though I want it dually noted I don't smoke). The walk down the stairs was tough on my legs.

Restrained

His nails dragged down my back getting firmer. I could feel my flesh pulling, my cunt getting wet, my back arched in response - not out of pain but out of lust. I was panting, hot, desperate to cum and we had not yet even begun.

"You like that, don't you, slut?" I could tell he was grinning. "Stand up." I stood, staring down. He slapped my face lightly. I stayed, eyes locked on the floor. I know now to look at the floor. All at once my clothes were gone, my collar on and I was being walked to the edge of the bed. "Bend over, spread your legs....WIDER! I am going to inspect you."

I fucking hate it. I am bent over the bed while he checks me over. I want to stand up, turn around, look him in the eye, tell him to fuck off and walk out. I know if I do that, I don't get what I want. What was it I wanted again, anyway? I am not a particularly good sub. Yes I know all subs say it but really I am not. I am just not subbie. I think I am perhaps a masochist and to get where I want to go with that I feel like I have to submit. I don't like submitting, I don't want to but I can't turn away from it. It is a strange dance, a very strange dance indeed. I could walk away if I wanted to but I don't. I can't quite explain it. Perhaps I am not willing to admit to myself how much I enjoy parts of this game - this however, is certainly is not one of those parts.

I feel cool metal chains press into my wrists and they are pulled up behind my back, beyond where it is comfortable and fastened to the back of my collar. It is almost not bearable. I am face down on the bed and there are cuffs going on my ankles. Now I am standing. My feet are bound to a bar and tied in to my cuffs and collar and my breasts are pulled into tight balls of red burning flesh, the ropes knotted up high so that I might look down on them. He stands back and admires his work. He is fast and efficient. He tells me how beautiful, how perfect they look. The whip is in his hand. My hair is in my face again. I hate it. My fucking hair is suffocating and hot and awful. I know if I cut it though I would miss him grabbing it, twisting it, pulling me to him. I can't see properly. I can't breathe properly. Now he is whipping. How he gets around my bound arms I do not know but the whip strikes. He pulls my hair to one side so that it does not temper the blows to my shoulders. The ends wrap around my body, stinging my breasts, my stomach, my legs. It licks up between my thighs plunging me into desperate panic that he may not stop - or perhaps that he will. The thin leather drives home, kissing my cunt. I am brimming with lust, with want. I am begging with my eyes, pleading for the collar to be loosened, begging to cum, begging for more, for less, to leave, to stay. He strikes again. I shake my head, muffled squeals and grunts he somehow knows what I am saying, through the gag. He knows what I am saying even when I don't.

He moves to the chest of drawers and takes out a cane. He puts it back and pulls out a much meaner looking stick. In retrospect the flexibility of the cane probably makes it a much harsher weapon but at the time I was not thinking clearly. It drops lazily onto my skin, once, twice. I feel my breath hasten, my body tense, the fear grip me like a vice and squeeze. He puts it to one side and pulls me back down to earth before I plunge over the edge into something I cannot escape from.

My hands and legs are freed and I am permitted to lie back on the bed. A few seconds respite. I look over and see his eyes glinting. He is on me, my legs are pulled up and tied open by the ankles to the bar, my wrist chains clipped to the ends. I suppose if I were upright I would look like I was squatting - awkwardly. That glint in his eyes, raw and animal. He slips his fingers into my need and mutters something about what a slut I am. I hear the sound of light metal chinking. My heart races. He grins, the glint is now replaced with victorious, gleeful anticipation. My 'respite' was so he could collect some pegs, some small clamps and The Mother of all clamps.

My eyes wide, I shake my head. He chuckles, I think at me, perhaps to himself. He stares straight at me and opens The Mother clamp so I can see it snap closed. I draw a sharp breath. He opens it again and looks down, hungry to place it on my flesh.

I know I asked for this but really, in this moment do I want it?